ZODIACAL: January/February Horrorscopes

Oh, hello there, star children! This week, I created horoscopes using this amazing, terrifying art as inspiration. I’ve taken these from my recent manic tweeting-session and condensed them here in this post. I was able last night to add fashion tips for the signs I’d neglected before. Gotta say, folks, January and February are shaping up to be interesting months, indeed. Love, money, eldritch horror…this year has it all!

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All Signs: These next months bring new opportunities. The Deepening calls in tongues of flame and terror. Mondays are lucky. Fear water.

Capricorn: Today, it is not your shadow anymore it grows impatient do not speak it do not name it do not–  Capricorn fashion tip: Earth tones can be grounding. Graveyard dirt, charnel ash, smeared on paling skin.

Aquarius: Today, you have asked the question you were forbidden to ask and now they know they know they see you they Aquarius fashion tip: black black black black black black SABLE AS PITCH

Pisces: Today, endless the Void so cold…  Pisces fashion tip: Shed your scales to get that baby-soft, pliable skin humans seem to favor.

Aries: Today, LOOK UPON THE SHATTERED LANDS OF YOUR SOUL, THE UN-FIRE BLAZING IN ITS FROZEN DEPTHS AND YOU WILL KNOW ME–  Aries fashion tip: *the shick-shick metal-ting of shears, the sound of rending fabric*

Taurus: This week, go to the chasm you see in all-consuming dreams. Gaze into it. Wait. Sun sets. The stars do not show.  Taurus fashion tip: Time to make a statement, Taurus! Wearing your insides on the outside ought to do it.

Gemini: Today, *hisssss* WE DEVOURRRR WE REND WE SING THE DEEPS WE TEARRRR WE BEG THE ENDING OF ALLLLLL– Gemini Fashion Tip: Geminians are as Janus…the twins, two-faced. You already have one…strap another to the back of your head. It doesn’t need real eyes. It’s a metaphor.

Cancer: Today, *scrabbling* *scuttles of tiny claws* Do not speak…shhhh. Still, now. Quiet…  Cancer Fashion Tip: It’s time to shine. Polish up that exoskeleton–Minwax can work wonders, or a light coat of shellac.

Leo: Today, expect rage-mad single combat under a blood-sun, the earthshaking roars of The Enemy as it falls to ruin.  Leo fashion tip: As the king/queen of the zodiac, jewel tones are right for you. Blood is a jewel tone. Vibrant. Red.

Virgo: Today, and the pretty little wren in the maying flowered morn wandered into faerieland now her wings are shorn–  Virgo Fashion Tip: Trying to save money on your wardrobe? With a little stain remover, re-purposed burial ensembles can be a great way to look fab without the hit to the wallet. Be sure to clean the dirt from under those nails.

Libra: Today, like stars they fell and burned the earth. You, chief among them, meted justice. All is fair. All is fair.  Libra Fashion Tip: Formal attire is on your mind…the Robes Of Kalad-hr donned upon a darkmoon night in the wake of The Summoning will really bring out your eyes. Right out of your head.

Scorpio: Today, For you, betrayer, were once my Trusted but now your name is as a curse and a blight upon the land.  Scorpio fashion tip: It’s all about accessories. Littlest bones, tarsals, metatarsals strung with tiny razored teeth.

Saggitarius: Today, expect that which lived when it should not have lived to collect the impossible debts you owe.  Saggitarius Fashion Tip: Dry skin? Lackluster hair? The Fat of the Leviathan works wonders. To the murky depths you’ll go to slaughter them beast and should you return, you’ll wonder at how your lovely locks shine.

7 comments

  1. Love this blog and the cool – I mean COLD – info in it! So very inventive and gorgeous fashion tips. It is all fantasy…right? RIGHT?!! OMG, I better read mine again…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YAY! WHEEE! I’ll tell the Elder Ones that you are to be spared at the Sundering of All! <3 ;) Ty so much for reading and commenting. :D

      Like

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